BDSM for Couples - A beginners guide
For many people, their reference point to BDSM is a really poor depiction in 50 shades, lot's of preconceived conceptions and it can seem incredibly intimidating when in reality it doesn't need to be. Just like popular media doesn't teach the best sex lessons, it certainly falls short on BDSM
As we're approaching Valentines day, many people are thinking about how to spice up their relationship especially as this year Valentines is going to be largely an indoor occasion. Whether you're looking at BDSM for couples, BDSM dating, or even just educating yourself on the possibilities of BDSM take a quick look at the guide below to get the basics right.
What is BDSM?
The term BDSM as defined by dictionary.com
sexual preferences and behaviors involving physical restraints, an unequal power relationship, or pain, including the practice of bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadomasochism, etc.
In simplistic terms it's an element of sexual preferences and fantasys different to the norm. There are quite negative connotations depicted in the media but practiced safely and securely BDSM can be thoroughly enjoyable for all involved
Where do I start?
As I mentioned, BDSM as a whole can seem really intimidating but it doesn't need to be. The first thing you need to do is communicate with your partner, whether that's through leaving a sexy note or a little pillow talk try and be open about your potential ideas of what you'd like to do. Try to make it light in the introduction to see if your partner is open to the possibility. If you're single and looking there are specialist dating sites depending on your preferences such as mistress dating where you can meet likeminded individuals
Once you've broached the idea of introducing BDSM into your sex life the progression might not actually be too big of a change. Take a think about your existing sex life, do you like to be pinned down? What about your partner smacking your bum? These are all very light elements of BDSM that can be taken to the next stage simply. Why not introduce a paddle for spanking or maybe handcuffs as an element of restricting control.
Consensual BDSM
As with all aspects of sex and your sex life, consent is the most important thing. It's important you're both on the same page when it comes to BDSM
Take it slowly, communicate with your partner about how you can add BDSM and be explicit in what you want and more importantly don't want. It's important you have a safe word when practicing BDSM as a way to indicate you're no longer happy with the situation. The nature of BDSM means one of you is likely giving up an element of control so it's crucial you understand you can always take that control back at any time
Aftercare
The moments after sex can sometimes be a bit awkward and funny, but the chatter and traditional pillow talk is even more important during BDSM. The sexual experience is likely to have been more intense psychologically and can also increase endorphins and adrenaline so the aftercare is crucial to safe play. Aftercare allows any come down you might have to be managed effectively, it helps you find reassurance and comfort in your partner and also helps you assess what you enjoyed during the experience.
Trying new things in the bedroom should be a fun and pleasurable experience, if you don't like it then stop. But most importantly keep the 'fun' element while pushing your boundaries and learning how deeply you want to enter the world of BDSM
Take the BDSM test and spice up your valentines this year!
